Fed Up Fables
by Ariko
Summary: lmao ... me and my friend were nuts when we started doing this ... (QUITE SWEARING!!)
1. Omi White and the Seven Dorks

~*Omi White and the Seven Dorks*~  
  
ChArAcTeRs : Omi White(Omi, DuH) , Seven Dorks(Yohji, Aya, Ken, Farfello, Nagi, Schuldig, Crawford) , Queen(Manx), Mirror(Hollie), Prince(Persia), Narrator(Megan)  
  
Narrator(Megan) : Once upon a time, in a far land in Japan, a young gir- er...boy, Omi White had been born into a familly of riches and great wonders. Only poor Omi White's mother, Queen Manx, was determined to be the most beautiful in the land. And to make sure of this, she had a magical mirror, in which she would ask, "Mirror,Mirror on the wall, Who is the fairest of them all?" to which the mirror would reply, "You Queen Manx, are the fairest in the land." That is, until one day...  
  
Manx: *walks into her room, and pulls the curtain off of her magical mirror, and smiles happilly* Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Who is the fairest of them all?  
Mirror(Hollie): You Queen Manx, have now been beaten, and you are no longer, the fairest of them all.  
Manx: *harrified* What?! Who dares to beat me in being the fairest of them all?!  
Hollie: Your daug- er s-son, Omi White, has beaten you in beauty, and has sprouted into the most beautiful young wo- er man, that this land has ever seen.  
Manx: What?! How dare s- er he! I must think of a plan, to have her destroyed...  
  
Megan: And so with the new information, that Omi White has surpased her own beauty, Queen Manx hired a peasent to bring Omi White,far into the woods,and kill he- er him.The peasent brought Omi White deeps into the forest, but he just couldn't kill him.The peasent told Omi White to run,run as far as Omi White could run,and never ever speak to the Queen again,and so Omi White did.Soon,Omi White found her- himself in front of a small home.After knock a few times,and calling out,when there was no reply,he headed inside.Noticing no one was home,Omi White went to bed.Soon,Omi White had fallen asleep,and the home owners came home...  
  
Yohji: Well, that was a long hard day of work, huh guys?  
Ken: Whatever you say...  
Yohji: What's that mean?  
Ken: *gives Yohji the finger and walks away*  
Aya: Whatever...*heads towards the kitchen*  
Yohji: Man, why do you guys always have to be so annoying?  
Farfie: *runs towards the kitchen,and begins to play with the garbage disposal*  
Yohji: Riiight...  
Nagi: This is so dumb...just because Megan is the narator,and author,she makes us the seven dorks.  
Yohji: So what? I say let her.  
Crawford: Your just trying to get on her good side.  
Schuldig: Pffft...don't matter. She wants me anyways.  
Ken: *hearing Schuldig,bursts out laughing*  
Nagi: Just get on with it so we can finish this up...  
Yohji: Your just mad that your not the HOT dork  
Ken: Neither are you..  
Yohji: WHAT?!  
Aya: SHI-NE! Shut-up or I'll kill you both!!  
  
Megan: Omi White, hearing the commotion downstairs,wakes-up,and ventures down to see what is going on.  
  
Omi: Oh wow..your all so short...who are you? Is this your home?   
Crawford: Duh.  
Farfie: *pokes Crawford on the arm with a knife* Ohh...blooood...  
Crawford: The hell are you doing?!  
Farfie: *Slurps up the blood*  
Crawford: *Glares*  
Omi: Is this how you little people live?  
Yohji: Look ya little punk, your in OUR home, so stoppit with the little people thing.  
Crawford: I'm Crawford.  
Yohji: Nah ah, your Brad.  
Crawford: I will kill you the next time you call me that...  
Yohji: I've heard that before..  
Schuldig: Yeah, like your not so tall yourself.  
Omi: *trying not to cry* I'm sorry...who or what are you?  
Ken: *groans* Someone else take my line...it's too dumb to say it...  
Farfie: *Moving Ken's jaw,so it seems as though it's him talking* We are the Seven Dorks. And this is our little dorky home. Who are you, fair,lovely one?  
Ken: *hitting Farfie* THAT was not in the script!  
Farfie: Improvisation! *grins*  
Omi: *blushes* Well...I'm Omi White...what are all your names?  
Schuldig: My name is Schuldig...but Schu-Schu for short!  
Nagi: Nagi..  
Ken: Ken...  
Yohji: Yohji-kun! Dah HOT one..  
Farfie: I am Farfello, it is a pleasure to meetest thou, if it wouldest givest thou the pleasure, thou may callest me, Farfie....  
TheOthers: *raise an eyebrow*  
Farfie: I need practice for an upcomming Shakesperian play  
TheOthers: Ohh..  
Aya: ...  
Omi: Hmm?   
Aya: ...  
Schuldig: His name is Aya.  
Omi: Ahh..that's all of you. And your called the 'Seven Dorks'?  
Yohji: Yup!  
Omi: Neat!   
  
Megan: To get the damn story going faster....Omi White lived with the Seven Dorks for a long while, and they all becames good friends, aside the occasionaly Farfello trying to kill them all. They all lived happilly together. One day, Queen Manx headed up to her mirror, to ask her question...  
  
Manx: Mirror, Mirror, on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?  
  
Megan: Queen Manx was completly and utterly shocked, when the mirror replied...  
  
Hollie: Your son,Omi White, is still the fairest of them all.  
Manx: *nearly toppling over in shock*  
  
Megan: See?   
  
Manx: This cannot be! I had he- er him killed!  
Hollie: No, you hired someone to kill him, but they failed you, and reported back as a liar...*under her breath* dumbass bitch...*out loud once again*and your son has found refuge in the woods at a cottage.  
Manx: No!   
Hollie: Yes.  
Manx: No!   
Hollie: Yes.  
Manx: No!  
Hollie: For crists sake, I said yes.  
Manx: Sorry...I got a little caught up in the moment...AHEM!...No! Now...I must find a way to revenge that awful dau- er son of mine! But how?  
Hollie: You could hang him by his neck,and rip his insides out...  
Manx: What the hell are you on?!   
Hollie: Just a suggestion...  
Manx: I will...make a potion, and put it inside a dart, then hit him with it. It's perfect!  
Hollie: How about put it in an apple instead.  
Manx: Why the hell would I do that?  
Hollie: Because that's what's in the script.  
Manx: ....oh....  
Hollie: Duh....asshole....  
Manx: *grumbles* ok ok ok fine. I'll make a poison,and put it into an apple, to give to Omi White.  
Hollie: That's better. Much better. NOW! Go do it.  
Manx: *salutes* yes ma'am! *turns and begins to run off* why am I being ordered by a mirror..?  
  
Megan: This is going waayyy too slow. So! After the mirror(Hollie) bitches out Queen Manx, she(Queen Manx) starts to make her poison apple to give to Omi White. She finishes and then runs upstairs to her mirror again.  
  
Manx: Mirror, Mirror..oh to hell with it! HEY YOU! How do I make myself look ugly so Omi White won't reconize me?   
Hollie: How does one get uglier than you?  
Manx: Oh that's it! *lifts a sledge hammer to destroy Hollie*  
Megan: THIS ISN'T IN THE SCRIPT!   
Manx: Forget about the script!  
Hollie: No! No! I agree with Megan! Completly!  
Megan: Two against one. Put the hammer down,and do it right.  
Manx: *grumbles and throws the hammer to the side* ok. now, how do I make myself look ugly?  
Hollie: Don't put on make-up.  
Manx: Ohh...good call...  
Hollie: I'm the best there is. Best there was. And the best there ever will be.  
  
Megan: Anyways, Manx went to see Omi, and gave him the apple. And he ate it, and *died*. Manx was so impressed she laughed herself to death, but no one really noticed because they all hat-  
  
Manx: THAT WAS NOT IN THE SCRIPT!  
Megan: *types a few new words,and grins* It is now.  
Manx: *grumbles then suddenly drops dead*  
Hollie: Score one for the home team!  
  
Megan: ..as I was saying.No one really noticed,because they all hated her.The seven dorks came home, to find Omi White *dead*...  
  
Crawford: *monotone* Holy shit. Look at that. Omi White is dead.  
Schuldig: Holy hell! What do we do with the body?!   
Farfie: *stabs Crawford's arm,and licks the blood*  
Crawford: Would you quit doing that?!  
Farfie: No.  
Crawford: Why not?  
Farfie: Megan said I can.  
Crawford: Damn you and finding some chick who likes you...  
Nagi: We still have some dead body in our home dorks.  
Ken: Yeah...*plugs his nose* and it smells...  
Crawford: That was me.  
TheOthers: *back away from Crawford*  
Yohji: Too bad he wasn't a hot chick...  
Nagi: Why?   
Yohji: I'd put her in my bed.  
Nagi: Why?  
Yohji: To make love to her  
Nagi: But she'd be dead...  
Yohji: Dead people can't press charges.  
Nagi: *shudders*  
Aya: ...put it outside....  
Schuldig: If only someone would kiss the horrid little creature we call Omi White.  
Ken: And why would someone do that?  
Schuldig: See what it's like..  
Ken: *shudders*  
  
*knocking on the door*  
  
Yohji: I got it. *opens the door*  
Prince Persia: Evening.  
Yohji: *turns to the others* Anyone order some freaky guy?   
Farfie: He came!He came! *jumps around like a little school girl*  
Ken: It's the Prince you dorks.  
Aya: Prince Persia I presume?  
Prince Persia: Yes. That is I. May I have a room for the night?  
Nagi: This isn't a ho-  
Schuldig: Sure! But only if you preform a special task.  
Persia: Which is?  
Yohji: You gotta kiss him *points to Omi*  
Persia: No problem! *strides over to Omi,and kisses him passionatly*  
Omi: EW! That was tongue!  
Persia: Ahh...what a beautiful young...er...man...  
Omi: *blushes* Your kinda sexy too...  
  
Megan: And with that, Prince Persia took Omi White to his castle, where they wed, and had twenty-eight children, don't ask how, it's too complicated....And they lived happilly ever after, the end...  
  
Ken,Yohji and Farfie: *mad dash towards Megan*  
Megan: Eeeeeek! *jumps into Crawford's arms*  
Crawford: What the he-..I'm not gonna complain...*grins*  
Ken,Yohji and Farfie: *pout*  
Hollie: AYA! *pounces on Aya*  
Aya: *falling to the floor with Hollie on top of him* Hiya...  
Hollie: *laughes madly, and hugs Aya tightly*  
Schuldig: How come Megan never jumps into MY arms?  
Crawford: Your not worthy.  
Schuldig: *glares*  
Nagi: *grabs ahold of Omi's hand*  
Omi: *giggles like a school girl*  
Megan: ...what am I doing?! *pushes Crawford away,and jumps into Yohji's arms*  
Yohji: *grins and glares at Megan's other stalkers* YOHJI NIGHT! SEE?! *shows them the calendar*  
Ken: Yohji night was the 19th, today is the 20th.   
Yohji: Really? *drops Megan, and checks the calendar*  
Megan: Owww...  
Hollie: Smart move Yohji...  
Yohji: Huh? *looks down where Megan should be*  
Ken: *laughing and Holding Megan*  
Megan: Well...thats our first 'Fucked-up Fable'...until next time...! PeAcE! 


	2. Little Red Aya Hood

~*Little Red Aya Hood*~  
  
ChArAcTeRs : Aya Hood(Aya, ReAlLy?! I nEvEr KnEw), Mom(Birman), Wolf(Yohji), Farmer(Ken), Farmer's Daughter[made-up](Hollie), Grand-mother(Omi), Narrator(Megan)  
  
Megan: Once upon a time, in a little house, in the middle of a forest of Japan, a young boy, and his mother, lived in a shack. One day, the young boy, Aya, had visited his grand-mother, Omi.She had made him a riding hood, that was pure red. Since that day, little Aya, became known as 'Little Red Aya Hood'.One sunny afternoon, Aya's mother, Birman, had filled up a picnic basket for his sick grand-mother.This is where our story begins...  
  
Birman: Aya Hood! Come here son!  
Aya: *running up to his mother* Yes mother?  
Birman: Your grand-mother is ill, and I know she would love to see you, so I've packed a little lunch for her, and I want you to bring it to her, okay son?  
Aya: You can count on me! *lifts the basket,and turns towards the door*  
Birman: *raises her finger to Aya as a warning* But son, do as I say, and stay on the path! No stopping, just go straight to grand-mother's, okay?  
Aya: I know mother! And I promise I will!   
  
Megan: Birman waved to her 20 year old son, as he skipped off into the woods, wearing his Red Riding Hood.As Aya-kun wal-  
  
Aya: SHI-NE! Don't call me that!  
  
Megan: *glares* Oh fine. *clears her throat* As the cold-hearted PRICK walked along the path in the forest, he stopped, hearing the bushes moving. At first, he thought it was the wind, but they continued. Suddenly, a young girl jumped out of the bushes, and threw her arms around Aya...  
  
Hollie: Aya!!!  
Aya: *drops his basket of goodies* Uhh...H-Hollie...  
Hollie: Oh Aya...I haven't seen you in so long...  
Aya: I know...if your father catches me with you...he'll...  
Hollie: *raises an eyebrow* Oh who cares?  
Aya: Your father is a lumber mill farmer, which means he carries around an axe...I'll lose my head...  
Hollie: You won't even risk your life to be with me? Your love?   
Aya: My mom says your a bad influence...  
Hollie: Don't you love me?!  
Aya: ...  
Hollie: *pouts* you don't...?  
Aya: ...I...  
Hollie: ..yes?  
Aya: I...  
Hollie: Oh forget the drama!  
Aya: *shrugs* Okay then. *clears his throat* I do..of course I do.  
Hollie: *eyes light up, but then fade, hearing her father comming towards them* Oh no! Daddy!  
Aya: Quick! In the bushes!  
Hollie: *drags Aya into the bushes, in a knick of time*  
Farmer Ken: Hmm, I was sure I heard voices...*walks back towards his farm*  
  
Megan: When the coast was clear, the young lovers came back out from the bushes, and said their good-byes. Aya Hood was back on the path towards his grand-mother's house. He walked for a while, and he came up to a wolf in the road.  
  
Aya: Who the hell are you?   
Wofl: Why hello there...I'm Yohji the wolf. Where are you headed?   
Aya: ...*turns the Megan* This is so dumb. I'm 20, why would I tell a *talking* wolf, where I'm going!?  
  
Megan: Because it's in the script.  
  
Aya: Well it shouldn't be...*turns towards Yohji* I am Little Red Aya Hood, and I am heading towards my sick grand-mother's.   
Yohji: Well well, that's awfully sweet, and is that a basket of goodies for her?  
Aya: Yes it is Mister Wolf.  
Yohji: Isn't that nice? Well, I must be off. Good day Aya Hood.  
Aya: Bye.  
  
Megan: During the rest of Aya's walked to his grand-mother's home, Yohji, had managed to find a short-cut to her home...  
  
Yohji: *barging into Omi's home* Helloooooo granny!   
Omi: *screaming like a little girl* Eek! Who are you!?  
Yohji: *grabs Omi,and drags 'her' out of bed* Shaddup! Your grand-son is on the way! And I'm going to pose as you, and gobble him up!   
Omi: Oh no! Not Aya Hood!  
Yohji: Bwuaha! Yes Aya Hood!  
Omi: No! Don't harm him!   
Yohji: *tieing and gagging Omi* Oh quiet you old bat!   
Omi: *begins to cry, trying to talk*  
Yohji: *throws Omi into the closet and locks the door* Hmm...now to find some granny clothes....*digs through some drawers, and pulls on some of Omi's other night wear,then climbs into the bed,as Aya Hood knocks on the door. Clears his throat* Come in..  
Aya: *entering the house* Hello grand-mother Omi! I've brought you some goodies!  
Yohji: Come in, come in child..  
Aya: Grand-mother, I'm 20. I'm not a child.  
Yohji: Oh yeah?! Well I'm much older than you, so you ARE a child.  
Aya: Whatever...here grand-mother *passes Yohji the basket of goodies*  
Yohji: Ohh...thank-you child! *throws the basket across the room*  
Aya: *eyes wide, mumbling under his breath* Guess she doesn't like goodies...  
Yohji: *grins under the covers* Come closer child. I don't remember when I last saw you...  
Aya: Wensday grand-mother. It was bingo night, and you were dancing on the tables, I think you were drunk...  
Yohji: Ohh...uh heh heh...yes of course...now I remember...but come closer anyways!   
Aya: *raises an eyebrow and edges towards his 'grand-mother' slowly* O...kay...  
Yohji: My! How you've grown...since....wensday...  
Aya: Uhh...sure. Holy shit! Grand-mother! What big eyes you have!   
Yohji: Ah yes, but its just the new contacts! Better to see you with Aya Hood, dearie...  
Aya: Okay. They look uh...nice....  
Yohji: Oh thank-you. *smiles*  
Aya: Geez! When did you get such big ears!?  
Yohji: I just had an opperation for them. Needed to get them bigger so that I could hear everyone better, Aya Hood dearie.  
Aya: Oh, ok, makes a bit of sense...*eyes wide* And I suppose you had an operation for FANGS to be implanted!?  
Yohji: Oh...ha!Ha!Ha! That's for those tough pieces of meat. Hard for my frail old teeth to get through them otherwise...  
Aya: *raises an eyebrow* Riight...  
Yohji: Yes. I am right handed...but to get on with it...I'M GONNA EAT YOU!   
  
Megan: Yohji wolf jumped out of the bed, and jumped onto Aya Hood, after a long struggle with Aya Hood's katana, Yohji wolf somehow managed to gobble him up.Farmer Ken heard some comotion going on inside the house, and he rushed inside...  
  
Ken: Holy fuck! What the hell is going on?  
Yohji: Oh shut-up, or I'll eat you too.  
Ken: To hell you will! *raises his axe*  
Yohji: Ohh...I'm scared. Like your accually going to do it.  
Ken: *grins evilly and whispers* Thank-you Megan...this is for all the times he's tried to steal you from me...*raises his voice* DIE YOU WOLF BASTARD!  
  
Megan: As Farmer Ken brought his axe down over the wolf's head, his daughter, Hollie, came in. Farmer Ken cut opened Yohji's stomach and help Aya Hood out. Hollie hid her smile, so her father wouldn't see.  
  
Ken: My God boy, are you okay?   
Aya: ...  
Ken: Well are ya!?  
Aya: ...*sweatdrops looking at the axe in Ken's hand*  
Hollie: Daddy. The axe is scaring him.  
Ken: Oh, and it's got a right to! BOY! If I ever catch you near my daughter again, I'll kill you!  
Aya: ...!  
Hollie: Daaaad!   
Ken: Whaaaat!?  
Hollie: But I love Aya...  
*thumping from the closet is heard*  
All: *turn towards the closet*  
Aya: The hell...?  
Ken: Who did you come to see to begin with?  
Aya: Grand-mother...  
Hollie: Would someone just open the closet!?  
Ken: Oh right...*walks over to the closet, and opens the door, raising an eyebrow as Omi tumbles out onto the floor*  
Hollie: COOL! I wanna try!  
Ken: I don't think so....*looks at Aya, pointing to Omi* Grand-mother?   
Aya: *nods* Grand-mother.  
Ken: *unties Omi, and helps her up* You okay ma'am?   
Omi: *puts a hand on 'her' forehead* Yes, I think so.  
Aya: *waves slightly* H-hiya..  
Omi: *eyes light-up* Ohhhhhh! Aya!! *runs up to Aya, and hugs him tightly*  
Aya: ...  
Hollie: Riiight...  
Ken: Aww..what a loving moment...but it just isn't...'right'.  
Omi: Ohhhh Aya-Kun!  
Aya: *goes mad from being called 'Aya-kun',and pulls out his katana, slicing grand-mother into thousands of little pieces*  
Ken: *eyes wide*  
Hollie: Wow...  
Aya: ...  
Ken: *shakes Aya's hand, and grins* Well. You've certainly proved to me that you can be with my daughter.  
Aya: I had to kill grand-mother to prove that..?  
Ken: Not necesarilly...but you've proven you can take care of her, so I can trust you'll watch out for her.  
Hollie: Dad...does this mean, you won't kill him anymore?  
Ken: Exactly.   
  
Megan: And that was that. The end of another 'fucked-up fable'...  
  
Megan: Woo...writing these fables get so tiring..  
Ken: Aww...is your hand cramping up?  
Megan: *pouts and nods*  
Ken: poor baby...*hugs her tightly*  
Hollie: *sticks out her tongue, sickened* Eww..love birds...  
Aya: Yeah...gross like...  
Hollie: *pounces onto Aya, and kisses him*  
Megan: *raises an eyebrow* Riiight...  
Ken: *grins and leans closer for a kiss*  
Megan: *moves away from Ken,not purposly*  
Ken: *falls onto the floor*  
Megan: *turns and looks at Ken* Holy cow! Are you okay!?  
Ken: *mumbling* Fine...Just fine...  
Yohji and Omi: So why did WE have to die!?  
Megan: I'm sorry...the wolf is supposed to die...but Omi, that was all improvisation...  
Omi: Gee, thanks.  
Megan: It was Aya's idea, not mine.  
Ken: *whines* Meeeeg...  
Megan: Yesh?   
Ken: Miiiine...  
Megan: *smiles softly* Not tonight cutie...Yohji night...  
Yohji: *pumps the air* Yessssss! My night baby! Miiiiiiine!  
Megan: Oh great...  
Hollie: See y'all next time... 


	3. Kensle and Yohjittle

~*Kensle and Yohjittle*~  
ChArAcTeRs : Aya(The dad), Omi(the mom), Yohji[Yohjittle](Grettle), Ken[Kensle](Hansle), Hollie(Aya's bitch), Manx(the witch), Megan(Narrator)  
  
Megan: Once upon a time, in a land that I forgot the name so we'll call it la-la-land, there lived a quiet little familly, in a quiet little house. They were a happy familly, a calm familly, a familly that never argued over anything ...  
  
Omi: *screaming* YOU DID WHAT?!  
  
Megan: *blinks* Okay ... they argue sometimes. In this little familly of four, was two children. A little boy named, Kensle, and a little girl named, Yohjittle.  
  
Aya: *shrugging* I cheated on you with my bitch Hollie.  
Omi: *horrified* What about the children!?  
Aya: They're Hollie's. Didn't you ever wonder why you never got pregnant,but had kids?  
Ken: I thought I came from the stork...?  
Aya: Go back to your room son,mommy and daddy are have a grown-up talk.  
Ken: *looks at Hollie* Hiya mom! *hugs her*  
Omi: *eyes wide* THE KIDS KNEW!?  
Aya: Sort of...  
Hollie: *hugging her son* Awww...hi Kensel!  
Ken: *runs back to the room he shares with his sister, Yohjittle*  
Omi: I can't believe this! BLASPHEMY! Those children are a blasphemy to my familly! I want them out! You and your little bitch too!   
Aya: But Omi! In this day and age, we aren't alloud to divorce! It's against both of our religion!  
Omi: *mumbling* Damn that fucking God ... *out loud* OH FINE! But get rid of those God damned kids!  
Hollie: WHAT!? I don't want you killing off my children!  
Omi: Too bad. They aren't mine, and I want them out of my house. So get them out.  
Aya: *looking at his too lovers* Oh fine ... I'll bring them deep into the woods, and leave them there.  
  
*In the kids bedroom*  
  
Yohji: Kensle, what's going on?  
Ken: Don't worry Yohjittle, nothing's going on at all.  
Yohji: But why are mommys and daddy fighting?  
Ken: Because mommy #1 found out about mommy #2 and they're having a grown-up talk. about us. That's all. Go back to bed Yohjittle.  
Yohji: But why is daddy gonna bring us in the woods tomorrow, and leave us there ?   
Ken: We're gonna go hunt for him, that's all.  
Yohji: Oh...okay Kensle ... good-night.  
Ken: Good-night.  
  
Megan: The mourning came, and Aya brought his children out deep into the forest, he then hugged each child, and told them to begin hunting. As they were walking through the forest, Kensel had been dropping little stones, making a way to lead them back towards the house, since he knew what was actually going on. Aya then left his children to *hunt* and walked back to his home, not noticing the stones along the way. After sometime...  
  
Yohji: Kensel, this is boring...  
Ken: I know. How about we go home now?  
Yohji: But we don't know the way back ... we're lost Kensel! *cries*  
Ken: *smacks 'her'* Yes we do. I dropped stones along the way, to make sure we'd get home!  
Yohji: Oh wow! Your so smart big brother! But why did you have to drop stones? Are you telling me the truth when you say daddy and mommys weren't leaving us here... ?   
Ken: I hate liars. Why would I lie?  
Yohji: Good point.  
  
Megan: Yohjittle and Kensle find the stones, and head back to their home. As they enter the house they are greeted by Aya, but Omi is furious and sends them to their room. 'She' then looks at Aya, and they argue for the second night in a row.  
  
Omi: I thought I told you to leave them in the woods!  
Aya: They must have found their way home!   
Omi: Well, bring them out again and leave them there! I will have no blasphemies in my house!  
Aya: *sighs* Yes dear...  
Omi: And do it right this time!  
Aya: Yes dear.  
  
Megan: For the second time, Aya brings his children out deep into the forest, this time, Ken dropping bread crums, only he doesn't realize the birds are eating the bread. Aya once again hugs his children, and then heads off in the direction towards Hollie's home.   
  
Yohji: Kensle? Why does daddy keep bringing us out here?  
Ken: Because, mommy #1 doesn't love us anymore, and daddy doesn't want her to be sad. But don't worry! The bread crum trail I left will lead us home!   
Yohji: *turning and looking* But there's no bread crums.  
Ken: Oh no! The birds ate it! But, don't worry. I remember the way home!  
Yohji: Really?   
Ken: No, but this is how the story goes, so let's start walking.  
Yohji: *sighing* Oh...  
  
Megan: They walk around from a while, Ken repeating non-stop to Yohji that he DOES know where he is going. But within time, both are about ready to give up, and rot in the forest, when they smell the sweet smell, of sugar.They run towards the smell, and see a huge house, made completly of candy, sitting up on a hill. The two children, having not eaten in hours, run towards the house in a mad dash. They began to eat a few chunks of candy until they hear...  
  
Manx: Who is eating my home?! *flings opened the door*  
Yohji: EEEEEEEEEK! *jumps into Ken's arms*  
Ken: ACK! I-I-I-I...w-we are m-ma'am ... we're s-sorry ...   
Manx: *eyes light-up* Oh! You poor poor dear little children! You look so unHEALTHY! Come come! Come into my home, and I'll give you something to eat....  
Both: OK! *they run inside*  
Manx: *grins evilly, and mumbles* Dinner is served...  
  
Megan: Manx; who is a bitch ... er ... witch, feeds the two children until they can hardly move. Finally, she picks out of the two, the one whom looks the most filling, and puts Ken into a cage. Then she makes Yohji be her little helper, in preparing 'her' brother for a feast.  
  
Yohji: But ... *sobbing* I dun wanna cook my brother...  
Manx: You shut the hell up and do as I say! *cackles and choakes* HACK HACK!!! Damned bones ...   
Ken: *pounding on the cage* Let me out! Let me oooooouuuuuuuutttttttt!  
Manx: You shut-up. Dinner doesn't talk.  
Ken: *sobs*  
Yohji: *involuntarilly throws another log into the stove*  
Manx: Okay little girl, get your brother out of the cage, and chop his head off to cook him. *cackles and choakes again* Gotta lay off those bones ...   
Yohji: I can't kill Kensel!  
Manx: You'll do it or I'll kill you!  
Yohji: Ok ok ... *opens Ken's cage and sobs lifting the ax* I'm so sorry Kensel!   
Ken: HEY! I've been your brother longer than you've been her slave! Don't kill me!  
Manx: Ok! Kill him.  
Yohji: *about the cut-off Ken's head, when 'she' turns and throws the ax at Manx*  
Ken: That's my 'sis'!   
Manx: *groaning* Th...e......p....ai...n....  
Ken: Stupid dumb bitch! Trying too cook me!? I'll teach you! *pulls the ax out of her, and drags her bleeding body towards the oven* I'll cook you! Open the oven Yohjittle!  
Yohji: *swings opened the oven door*  
Ken: Burn you mother fucker bitch! BURN! *throws her in the oven*  
Manx: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!   
Yohji" *closes the oven door and grabs Ken, running out of the house*  
Ken: WOAH YOHJITTLE!  
Yohji: *stops*  
Ken: Good 'girl'. Now, let's find daddy and mommy #2.   
Yohji: OK!  
  
Megan: They walk around for a while later, when they see a red house in the middle of a path in the forest.  
  
Ken: It's mommy #2's house! Let's go!  
Yohji: Yeah!   
  
*they run to the house, and go in, to see Hollie and Aya eating they're supper*  
  
Hollie: *eyes wide* KIDS!  
Aya: The kids? *turns around* Oh my God! Kensel! Yohjittle! Your safe! And alive!   
Both: Daddy! Mommy #2!  
All: *run and hugs each other*  
Hollie: Oh my God! I can't believe it! You found us! *smiles at her children*  
Aya: It's a miracle!  
Ken: I love you daddy and mommy #2!  
Hollie: We have a surprise! Mommy #1 died ... 'mysteriously' ...and me and your daddy are getting married!   
Yohji: So we don't have to call you mommy #2 anymore?  
Aya: Nope!  
Ken: *looks at Yohji* No Yohjittle, she's STEP-mommy now!   
  
Megan: And with that, Aya and Hollie got married, and lived happilly ever after, with they're sex-crazed daughter, and soccer-loving son! The end!   
  
Ken: Why, why why why why WHY did I have to be Hansel!?!?!?  
Megan: But you were so CUTE in those lil suspenders and green tight shorts ...   
Yohji: Megan's a perve ... just like me!   
Hollie: Oh shut-up, you had to be a girl ... and my daughter at that...  
Yohji: *shuddering* I'm traumatized... *cries*   
Megan: Aww...  
Aya: Hahaha... I cheated on Omi ...   
Omi: YOU CHEATING LITTLE SLUT!   
Aya: *eyebrow raise* We aren't in love for real you know ...  
Omi: I know ... *sighs*  
Aya: *edges towards Hollie*  
Megan: *cuddles Ken* ... you better be keeping those shorts ....  
Ken: And if I do ... ?  
Megan: *whisperes something in his ear*  
Ken: *grins* I'll keep 'em ...  
Hollie: *eyebrow raise as Manx comes into the room,burnt as a crisp*  
Manx: *coughs smoke* ...ow...  
Megan: *grins* Bitch.  
Hollie: And that's our fucked-up fable! 


End file.
